So I finally saw this movie last night. Yes, I know I’m behind, sue me. I wasn’t terribly impressed. The movie was well made, the writing was fairly clever. The best performances were from the little girl who played Knives and, oddly enough, Kieran Culkin.
What really struck me was the ludicrousness of it. I’ll try to explain.
We often hear men lamenting that girls only choose assholes. I’m an asshole and I’m single. Divorced to be accurate. There is an important distinction. Those guys girls choose are assholes about stupid shit. They’re assholes about which nobody starlet is the hottest. Or which band rocks harder. Or their “bro-code”.
I’m an asshole about important things. When someone says something completely asinine about politics, religion, society, etc. I jump down their throats and pound them into submission with words. For instance “We elected Obama to change things and I haven’t seen any Change.” At this point I throw a dime at them and start haranguing them about electing someone based on such an empty monosyllable as “Hope” or “Change”.
This kind of assholishness is frowned upon.
Back to Mr. Pilgrim. You see, I was told he was a loveable loser type that gets the girl. Wrongo! Mr. Pilgrim is an ass. He is a worthless drain on society that treats women badly and won’t admit his own faults. In short, asshole. And yet he gets the girl, further reinforcing the stereotype.
People want to see him as a loveable loser because he isn’t a jock. He isn’t a bro. He isn’t your prototypical asshole. But asshole he remains. You can still be a piece of shit even if you don’t smell like one. He cheats on one girl, lies to another. Leeches off friends. Puts his wants ahead of the band of friends he’s in. It takes him the entire movie and facing imminent death to discover that he is, in fact, a piece of shit, to finally admit that he might need to change. What a hero.
Of course a turd like that gets the girl. Makes perfect sense. Quite literally happens every day. And us hardworking assholes who actually try to make the world a better place through our assholery are left holding the bag. Because we dare to speak out. Because we don’t fit the damn mold. Because we don’t go along to get along. Balls. The career choices of Dr. Horrible are looking better and better.